We are all familiar with the voice inside of us. That inner voice that’s cheering us on or, sadly, shooting us down. All too often, my teens share with me that their inner voice can be downright mean. And this greatly affects their mindset. Yikes!
Our teens have an inner voice inside, just like us adults. And getting to know their inner voice, understanding where it’s coming from and changing the inner dialog is a game changer when it comes to shifting the teen mindset.
With that being said, if getting your teen to open up and talk to you is a struggle, start here FIRST – grab my free downloadable mini-guide: 3 Things Your Teenager Wants You To Know, So They Can Open Up To You. Inside I share simple communication tweaks you can make to promote openness and get the communication flowing with your teenager!
The Definition of Mindset
The definition of Mindset: a set of beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and perceptions that shape how an individual perceives, interprets, and responds to situations, challenges, and experiences. It influences one’s thoughts, behaviors, and overall approach to life.
Put another way, I think of mindset as how we perceive the world in which we exist. Mindset refers to how our mind interprets the circumstances outside of our control as well as the circumstances within our control. We, as humans, are constantly making meaning of what’s happening around us and within us. Our mindset is the angle from which we interpret and make meaning of those outer and inner experiences.
When your teenager appears to have adopted a mindset or ‘world view’ that is NOT serving them well, it’s concerning – hearing your teen speak negatively about themselves, pass up challenges or squash opportunities to participate and grow. If you are concerned your teen may have adopted an unhealthy mindset, here’s what to look for…
Signs that your teen’s mindset is holding them back or interfering with their confidence:
- Negative self -talk. Putting themselves down or focusing on their shortcomings.
- Avoiding challenges. Preferring to stay within their comfort zone and not enrolling in that challenging class or bowing out of new opportunities like joining a sports team or club at school.
- Fear of failure. Being overly concerned about making mistakes, which can appear as procrastination or avoidance.
- Difficulty in coping with stress. Exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues in response to challenges or pressure.
- Lack of goals or direction. Showing little motivation or ambition, and having difficulty setting and working towards meaningful goals.
If you’ve noticed your teen adopting a fixed or negative mindset, below are strategies you can implement now, to promote a mindset shift in the right direction. And if your teenager doesn’t naturally open up to you and express their feelings and thoughts openly, I’ve got you covered. First things first, download my free mini guide: The 3 Things Your Teenager Wants You To Know, So They Can Open Up To You. Then, review the strategies below to help facilitate a positive mindset shift.
Strategies to promote a positive mindset shift:
- Awareness: The first step in changing negative self-talk is to become aware of it. Encourage your teen to notice their thoughts and simply identify when they are being self-critical or negative.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Teach your teen to challenge negative thoughts by questioning their validity. Encourage them to ask themselves if there is evidence to support their negative beliefs and to consider alternative, more positive perspectives.
- Focus on Strengths: Help your teen recognize their strengths and achievements by pointing them out and having daily dialog around what went well that day. Encourage them to focus on their talents and abilities rather than dwelling on perceived weaknesses or shortcomings.
- Challenge Perfectionism: Many teenagers struggle with perfectionism, which can fuel negative self-talk. Share with your teen that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a natural part of learning and growth.
- Set Realistic Goals: Assist your teen in setting realistic and achievable goals for themselves. Help them break larger goals down into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate their progress along the way.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Teach your teen to be kind and compassionate toward themselves. Encourage them to treat themselves with the same understanding and empathy that they would offer to a friend in a similar situation.
Big picture: Your teen’s mindset can easily shift direction – a few failed attempts at something, a big family or personal setback, or repeat negative messaging from social media can all contribute to a shift in mindset. However, the good news is that the same is true for a mindset shift in a positive direction. Implementing a few of the strategies referenced above will open up their mind to a healthy way of perceiving the circumstances they face. And, an added bonus – *your focus on mindset awareness for your teenager keeps you aware of your own mindset health too. Win-Win!
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