When the New Year approaches or a new beginning arrives, there is often a buzz in the air of excitement and high energy. This particularly happens at the start of the New Year or the start of a new school year, a new semester, the beginning of a sports season or the beginning of college.
But…not all are ready for the hype, high energy and push forward into the new. And that is okay!
For a lot of our teens (and ourselves!) hesitation, trepidation, or a feeling of “I’m just not quite ready for the pace of it all yet!” is what they feel. These feelings, counter to the collective buzzy-excitement, are actually more common than not.
When it comes to the New Year, for example, feeling like we are coming out of a deep slumber, groggy and relaxed can be just as ‘normal’ as feeling the amped up energy when on the brink of a new start. Or, feeling depleted from the to-do’s and experiencing the emotional drain of the holiday season can be equally as ‘normal’ as the excitement to dive into the New Year.
So how do we support our teens (and ourselves!) as we all approach the ‘New’? How do we show our teens that it’s perfectly okay to feel whatever it is they are feeling and honor those feelings as acceptable and welcomed, regardless of whether those feelings match what the outside world says they “should” be feeling?
My 3 Favorite Life Coaching Principles to Support a New Start:
Whether your teen is motivated to dive into their new beginning or feeling something less than a ‘pep in their step’, below are 3 of my favorite Life Coaching Principles to help make new beginnings as comfortable and stress-free as possible for everyone.
1. We all have a unique Blueprint inside of us. This blueprint is our roadmap to inspiration, happiness, contentment and our preferences-likes and dislikes. Our teen’s individual threshold for stress, academic rigor, certain activities will be different from the teen sitting next to them in the classroom. Being human is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Words of Wisdom: Be patient with yourself and honor your unique needs.
2. The most influential voice in your ear is your own inner voice. How are you speaking to yourself? Often, the inner voice inside each one of us speaks much more critically to us than we would speak to another person. And this voice greatly influences our confidence level. First, notice your inner voice and how it speaks to you. Once you are able to recognize that voice when it comes up, question it. Ask it to reframe the message to you in a positive, gentler voice or using words of comfort and encouragement.
3. Happiness in life is not about feeling ‘happy’ all of the time. Overall happiness with one’s life is about being comfortable navigating all the feelings as they come up. It’s impossible to feel ‘happy’ all of the time. And it’s also impossible to control the outside world to the extent that we can avoid any circumstances or situations that will cause us to feel unhappy. Learning to navigate the spectrum of emotions from happy to sad and everything in between is what allows our teens (and us!) to see life in a more positive light and experience a more balanced emotional set point. Emotions come and go frequently. We cannot avoid them. But, by learning to accept the good and uncomfortable feelings and understanding how to process and move through them, we can ensure more emotional stability overall.
I invite you to share these concepts and mindset approach with your teen. The moral of the story is to honor their feelings, especially at the start of something new, and try to avoid pressuring themselves to feel something that they think they ‘should’ feel.
Cheers to new beginnings…those we dive head-first into and those we give ourselves the grace to slowly approach at our own unique pace.
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Feelings are a big “thing” especially during the teen years…
When big feelings become too much for your teen, reach out for a complimentary Discovery Call to discuss if life coaching is what’s needed. It’s incredible what a mindset shift can do and how once we shift our thoughts; our emotions and behaviors change for the better too!
