How to keep the peace in your household ~ during the most stressful seasons of your teenager’s life

What your teenager needs is a dose of their own ‘unique medicine’. And yes, it works like a charm…

As we begin to nestle into the season of all things comfy, cozy and warm…Let us not forget that this season can be full of big feelings of stress, overwhelm, social commitments and the hustle and bustle of deadlines, final exams and college deadlines. 

Often, parents ask me: “How do we keep the peace and connection when our family is running in so many directions during this season of expectations, stress and overwhelm? 

The buzzing energy of stress we feel inside our bodies, as we navigate each day and look ahead to what’s next on our robust to-do lists, can be tamed. And the key to quieting the outside noise, pressure and demand is not to completely give up and eradicate those to-do’s from our list and surrender. Most of us don’t have that option. What we DO have, is the ability to pause. 

In our world of high demands, our teenagers are pulled outside of themselves to accomplish and complete that which lies outside of them. As we all venture outside to work, do, learn, complete, and accomplish, we are separated from our inner selves – that quiet, peaceful place inside us all that grounds us. 

Instead, our attention is given to all the things outside of us where we must perform as students, college applicants, parents, managers, doers and more. What can we do now, while in the midst of the stress, school finals, college application deadlines, family responsibilities and work demands? Pause. And give ourselves a dose of our own ‘unique medicine’. 

Here are a few tips on how you and your teenager can to take that nourishing pause to re-center, giving you each a rejuvenating dose of your own ‘unique medicine’:

• Allow time to rest – this could look like a ‘cat nap’ for 20 minutes during your day. For your teen, this may look like listening to music is their room, hibernating, alone. 
• Take time for a mindfulness or meditation practice, if you have one. If you don’t have a practice, simply take a brief 5 minute pause to sit or lie down, rest your eyes, listen to calming music or just be in silence.
• Creativity works wonders on our soul and nervous system. Research also shows that spending time crafting or creating (without an agenda or competitive edge) calms anxiety. Do this alone or with your teen and family. 
• Calmly engaging with a pet is a nourishing way to slow down your busy thoughts and give your pet some love and attention. 
• Taking a walk outside or in nature to take in the fresh air and plant life supports reconnecting with yourself. 

Model this pause for your teenager by gifting this dose of calm to yourself, first. Then, share these ideas so your teenager and family may pick and choose their favorite pause options.

As I’m writing this blog post, it happens to be a go-go-go, give-give-give time I’m of the year – and this type of ‘busy’ is becoming a year-round way of life for our teenagers. I’m here to remind you to give to yourself in the form of a pause.  Rest and attention to yourself  is not only an important part of your health and wellbeing, but it reinvigorates as we navigate the season of all things busy, bustling and full…in the most cozy, comfy and warm way possible. 

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Life Coaching for Teens

When it all gets to be just too much for your teenager and the road ahead is too full, too confusing or they just need support figuring out what’s next…reach out for a complimentary Discovery Call to discuss if life coaching for your teen is what’s needed. 

Life coaching helps answer those daunting questions teenagers have as they face their big life transition:

What should I do? 

How do I get motivated? 

What should I major in? 

How do I get rid of this anxiety? 

Who am I now? 

Holly McClain, M.Ed. is a Counselor and Certified Life Coach for teens and young adults. She specializes in navigating life’s transitions, establishing one’s sense of self as well as mindset, emotions and Career Development work. Holly’s experience working with adolescents and families includes a 20+ year career in the California Public Education System as a School Counselor and Educator. Holly currently owns a private counseling and coaching practice supporting adolescents, working one-on-one with clients and families, as well as facilitating groups and circles. A San Francisco Bay Area native, Holly currently lives in the greater Sacramento Area and works with clients globally.